1. Eric Ries writes that the goal of a startup is “to figure out the right thing to build – the thing customers want and will pay for – as quickly as possible” (p. 20). In life, we are our own customers, and the people in our environment are our stakeholders. Isn’t it the goal of life as well – to figure out what we want, what we are ready to invest our time, energy, talent in, to figure it out as quickly as possible, and then start living it? Isn’t it our goal to learn our lessons, integrate the learnings, and create a new, more advanced, “version” of life? I believe it is. We as human beings search for meaning, long to apply ourselves to a worthy cause. We are entrepreneurs operating in the setting of complexity and uncertainty. We try to create and promote a “product” that would make a difference. Our life’s vision and mission, our unique profile of talents and characteristics constitute our “product” – our essence, our selves ready to be given to the world. The “profit” we expect to leverage takes the form of happiness, love, and fulfillment. The question, therefore, is: how can I create my “product” (myself) in a way that maximizes my “profit” (happiness, love, and fulfillment)?
2. Creating the product, according to the Lean Startup method, goes on in stages of revisions and incorporating feedback. Ries urges companies to develop and ship their Minimum Viable Product (MVP) in its first version right away, without further ado. Developing the MVP, you should “remove any feature, process, or effort that does not contribute directly to the learning you seek” (p. 110). Let’s say your life’s vision and mission is your MVP. It is tempting to spend years on discovering, refining, and polishing your uniqueness. Years can go by, and you will still not feel ready to get out there and make impact. What if you do not need to wait long until you can start making a difference? What actions can you take already today that take you closer to living your vision? And – what minumum requirements do you need to fulfill (what needs to be in place) for you to “ship” the first version of your “product”?
3. One of the cornestones of the Lean Startup method is soliciting and integrating customer feedback. As we live our lives, we constantly receive feedback from our environment. It shows up through the universe supporting our actions and giving us the green light – hints, shortcuts, chance meetings – versus the universe signaling that our actions are not in alignment with it. When we are stuck, bored, “unlucky”, or not successful, this means that something in our attitude is simply not working. Sometimes we are stubborn and unwilling to learn. We continue living the old version of our “product”, investing lots of effort into being right about it. The universe gently pushes us to reconsider our approach and adapt. We get the same lesson over and over again until we are finally able to acknowledge and integrate it. Thus, it is crucial to develop sensitivity to feedback, ability to recognize it, inregrate it, and initiate change basing on the learnings. What do I need to do to make my “product” work? What is missing and what is irrelevant? What do I need to let go of and what should I keep?
4. The Lean Startup highlights that companies make decisions basing on assumptions. This holds true for life: how often do we act assuming that this action will make us happy, bring us more money, get us new love, make people like us? Very often we base complicated schemes of action that come down to one simple, yet fundamentally flawed, assumption. To save yourself the pain of discovering the mistake too late, identify the assumptions that you base your “product” on, and then get into the field and test them. Is this really so or do you say/think that is so? What was it that you assumed about your “product” and environment that took you to where you are now?
5. “Waste not” is the Lean Startup mantra. It can work as a life mantra as well. What if we do not have as much time as we think? How would you live and what would you focus on if there was no tomorrow? What can you get rid of in order to live a more happy and meaningful life? The trick is to not only welcome the learnings, but also to learn fast. As the saying goes: if your horse is dead, stop riding it. And (I suppose it was Ram Dass who said it, but I am not sure) – when you got the message, put down the receiver.

So, having a context for the next year can be the source of invaluable support if you aim for awesomeness (I hope you do). Personally, I have experimented with setting the year context in 2011 and was pleased with the results. Here is the context procedure that I follow and can recommend:

1) choose the year’s main theme and formulate it with one, maximum three words – this theme will be your guideline for the year. For example, in 2011 I worked with “greatness” and “getting serious”. In 2012, my theme is “self-worth”.

2) take an open-ended research question to work with – asking this question over and over again will create the space for discoveries to happen. In the coaching profession, questioning is my favorite tool of the trade. Living with an open-ended question takes you beyond the realm of the known, away from “yes/no” duality and mechanical answers. Ask a question once, and you will answer it with something that you already know. Ask a question 365 times, and at some point your mind will run out of answers, and you will be free to look and receive insights.

My questions for 2012 are: 1)What is it that I am in denial about? And 2)What would make me more happy this year? The second question was inspired by a recent post by Gretchen Rubin on resolutions.

3) pick several check questions – to support you in staying on track. My favorite check questions are: What would love do? Am I being true? Am I giving or am I taking?

In addition, I believe it makes sense to write your context down and develop a habit of going back to your notes regularly to monitor your progress.

Final questions: What will 2012 be about for you? What goal or theme will you dedicate it to?

…having a cat come sit on my lap, connecting with it and seeing this expression of life as perfect.
…going to a bike shop (in Maastricht) instead of a shoe shop (NB – Ik kan niet fietsen, I do not know how to ride a bike, so every time Marc mentions the distinction “balance”, I feel so ashamed!) and being amazed by these ehhh machines in an inspiring and positively childish way – I could almost hear people at the shop think, what a lunatic lady, and I enjoyed it! Now watch my words: I do not have a bike, because I do not get it. I need to get a bike to get it! And if I am getting it ever, it will look outrageous!
…visiting the most beautiful book shop in the world – Selexyz in Maastricht – and being startled by the magnificence of the idea to have a book shop in an old gothic style church. I was so touched to see books – one of the things I am most passionate about – being treated with such respect and care. It felt sacred, and made me feel sacred as well. And the coffee was served with a piece of nougat – not a normal cookie or candy, but with exactly the thing I like. With a little detail, with one extra bit of love that makes all the difference. The finality of the strike (male energy) + authenticity of embrace (female enery).
…eating pure hagelslag out of the package while sitting on a cooking plate, in the dark, listening to two songs on repeat (“Give Me Strength” and “This Isn’t Everything You Are” by Snow Patrol).

Thank you. Give me more next week, please.

So, what is flow?

When you are in flow, life is just working for you.
You experience that things happen effortlessly. Situations get resolved with a win-win for everybody. Difficulties make way to possibilities. You feel connected to people around you. You contribute and co-create. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing, and you want nothing else but what you have.
You feel grateful. You are in the here and now more often, and you feel the joy of being.

What can you do to get into flow? Here is a possible formula:

FLOW = Committed action + Love

Committed action means that you consistently stay true to working on your chosen goal and keep sourcing no matter what. Being in committed action uplifts you. The more energy you invest, the more you get.
Love means that you come from the intention to give and serve. You contribute with your whole heart and become the hub of acceleration for your environment.
To create flow: do what you love, love what you do, and do it in totality, with full commitment.

1. Should change or want to change?

When you notice yourself having the desire to change something, do you immediately start acting upon the desire or do you actually take time to investigate its true nature?

What if before inquiring into how to change, you would look into the need for change itself?

Do you want to break free from a behavior pattern because it does not serve your goals anymore? Do you chose to change coming from vision of who you want to be? Or do you want to change because someone else made a critical remark about you, or because some book said you should not be doing this or that?

Do you chose change, deliberately and consciously, or do you want to change because you managed to convince yourself that you should? Feeling obliged to change keeps you trapped. False motivation dies out, eventually. Then you risk being left with less energy and more regrets. Changing because you chose to allows you to act from vision. Then you are more likely to find inspiration, drive, and perseverence needed.

2. Would like to or will?

I think we should be careful with our choice of words. Too often we say “I want to”, “I will try to”, “I would really like to”. And then what? If you want to change, what you create is wanting change – not the change itself. If you say you will try, trying is all you get. If you want to cause a profound shift and have a real breakthrough, speak in clear language and make commitments. Be specific and precise. Rely on the good old SMART for setting goals. Then you will know what you are doing, how you are doing it, while ensuring that you ARE actually doing it.

3. Radical change or step by step?

The decision is made and commitment is in place, now comes the time to act. How do we execute change?

Some people prefer to make the final cut and turn their life around in one day. They mercilessly get rid of thought patterns that keep them stuck, let go of old possessions, and radically deal with dramas that come up. This strategy works, but requires some character.

Other people take it step by step, with clever planning, check list systems and daily progress reports. This strategy works as well, and takes patience and discipline.

These strategies are not opposites but two edges of one continuum. Radical decisions are needed sometimes, so it is important to be ready to make tough choices. Step by step planning is vital to create clarity and accountability, so it makes sense to create an action plan with easy to implement solutions.

4. An adventure of a lifetime?

I believe that changing behaviors is about evolving and growing, challenging and supporting yourself on the way to becoming a mature and harmonious personality. Admirable change happens when you enjoy it, letting yourself to create a healthy stretch with a sparkle of fun in it. Admirable change is change that you engage in daily, being moved and inspired by the value that it brings – to yourself, your family and friends, your community, your network, and your world.

Yet there are other girls in the world, who are also beautiful, smart, and talented, who deserve to live a remarkable life, who deserve to have it all – but are deprived of making a choice of their own. They live in the poorest countries of the world, having to fight for survival, every day, having to defend their identity, every minute. They want to stay healthy, but face the daily threat of HIV. They want to get educated and find their way in life, but stay illiterate . They want to have a family some day, but are never asked for their opinion and get married off at the age of 14.

They are not given any choice.

What would become possible if all the girls in the developing world could have a choice? 600 million of them, actually.

The reality should not be taken for granted. What if we start with small actions to make a difference? Spreading the word. Fostering the discourse. Making donations. Raising awareness. Organizing campaigns. Reaching out to policy makers. Proposing ideas. Taking decisions. Hearing their voices. Implementing solutions. Changing lives. Giving choice.

The Girl Effect is a movement that is committed to giving girls in developing world a choice through media campaigning, fundraising, and awareness creation.

Why?

Because it’s not a big deal, just the future of humanity, their video says.

I am participating in the Girl Effect Blogging Campaign – a co-creation of dozens of bloggers who choose to care. You can find the regularly updated collection of posts here, on the website of Tara Sophia Mohr.

This week, 4-11 October, 2011, blog about it, talk about. Share it and shape it, discuss it and change it.

Standing for something means making a commitment. You give your word, you promise that you are going to be in action of something and live in the light of the desired result. This commitment will demand a lot from you. It will take you to places where you have never been before. It will let you experience the ups and downs of discovery and feel the jor of learning. It will shape you as a person and guide you to spiritual maturity.

Stepping into a commitment includes the following:

• committing 100%

I have been told many times that in this whole commitment business 99,9% is just not good enough. I believe that my teachers were right. You may not notice the difference at first. You may get in action and successfully go through first challenges. However, sooner or later, this 0,1% or even 0,0001 % of doubt will show up and put your commitment (and with it your whole life’s mission) in jeopardy. When absoluteness is missing, doub sneeks in. It steals devotion and dedication. It sabotages the result. If you want to play on a high level, accessing the space where marvels happen, you need to be prepared to give 100% and beyond. This is the power of you word – for more, read Don Miguel Ruiz (the book “The Four Agreements”).

• always being in action

Standing for something without taking real action is idle talk, and it does not get you any far. Consider this: your vision/dream/cause is most probably a remote goalpost, which you cannot reach in one jump. Your journey is most likely to unfold step by step, with occasional bigger steps and level-ups in between. Therefore, see it as a journey. It is as much about the road as it is about the destination.

When you lack something – knowledge, a competence, a character trait, or simply time or money – remember that this is not as an excuse to abandon the mission. See it as a stimula to grow. Capacity can be built, competences can be developed, and knowledge can be gained. I believe that coaching has a lot of tools to support you in this. My favorite coaching tool is asking questions, for example: “What needs to be place for me to accomplish this?” Or “Who do I need to be to achieve this?”

• facing criticism

If you stand for something, I can guarantee you that some people will not like it. Some will try to talk you out of pursuing you dream, operating killer phrases like “Get real” (what is real, and why do you think that your ‘real’ is more real than my ‘real’?) “You are such a dreamer” (is this bad?), “This is not possible” (how do you know?) and so on. Some will criticize your cause because they love you and do not want to see you hurt, others – because they envy you, or feel that their conventional beliefs are threatened by you, etc, etc. The reasons are numerous. This is a different topic entirely, and I promise to come back to it in the future. For now, I want to underline one thing: every person who has th guts to actually stand for something has to face criticism, judgement, and misiterpretation. It is better to know this upfront and start getting ready.

Your decision to live a life of contribution will require you to give it all and embrace it all. So get in action, ask questions, plan, strategize, network, research, learn, discover, celebrate, rock the world, think big – and prepare for an adventure of your lifetime!

Finding a cause so inspiring, so moving, so touching that you want to dedicate your entire life to it is an endeavour both beautiful and challenging.

It is beautiful, because finding your cause, the real deal, will take your breath away. When you find this cause, THE cause, you will know it and feel it with your entire being. It is challenging, because it can take you days, months and even years to find THE cause, and finding it is just the beginning of the journey.

Here some indicators that show that a cause is YOUR cause:

• it urges you to give your best

• it makes you grow and learn new things

• it makes you wanna wake up in the morning, and when you go to bed, you cannot wait for the alarm clock to go on…in fact, you do not need any alarm clock, because you wake up naturally and get in action

• it gives you strength to endure hardships and face challenges that you thought you were not able to go through

• it gives you energy and aliveness, and your body loves it too

• it makes you wanna go on and on, so you find pleasure in working for your cause even during weekends and holidays (without forgetting about your private life and health, of course)

• it makes you feel fulfilled

• it makes the people around you happy

• it contributes something to the world

Searching for a cause resembles looking for a black cat in a dark room: you know it is there somewhere, but it manages to escape just when you are about to catch it. I believe searching for a cause works its magic when you combine making happen with letting happen. Yes, you actively engage with the question, try things out, and do your part of the job. At the same time, you do not make a drama out of it. You let life surprise you. You continue doing what you normally do while keeping the question alive and the fire burning (NB: I believe the “making happen-letting happen” mechanism is brilliantly explained by Elizabeth Gilbert in her TED talk). You do not jump into something too soon and wait rather than say “yes” only to realize that it was not “it” and change your mind. You take your time to find your cause, but do not get stuck. You are not scared of making a decision. You do not settle for second best, and you do not give up.

You are honest, focused, calm, and open.

And then it klicks…

A mediocre life is all about making it through the day, week, month, doing what you think you should do and being what you think you should be (guided by what others want you to be), saving big dreams and beautiful visions for later. A mediocre life can be a normal life, or an okay life, or a good life, or even a happy life. Yet, it lacks one fundamental component: daring to make a contribution. Living in mediocrity and complacency means living with a nagging feeling that something important is missing.

A meaningful life is all about living every day, week, month in the light of a bigger vision. A meaningful life is centered around finding a cause worth living (and dying ) for and making a contribution.

I believe that every meaningful life starts with a decision to stand for something.

Taking the decision to stand for something changes a lot, and the decision to not only stand for something, but to stand for it 100%, changes pretty much everything.

Standing for something means aligning all your energies with the cause (or the vision) that you are committed to. When you truly stand for something, you get such benefits as:

• clarity – you do not waste time second-guessing yourself, instead you are busy with ongoing development and refinement of your cause/vision
• determination – there is no more holding back, you finally have the green light to go full out and use your greatness
• flow – when you stay in committed action, you learn how to trust life and discover such amazing things as synchronicity and serendipity

I want to live a meaningful life. I know that building such a life includes going through good times and not so good times. I know that such a life will demand a lot, in fact, in will demand all of me. It will demand making an absolute commitment. I guess last week I took one step closer to making it, because I gained clarity on what is it that I stand for.

Last week I participated in the IPMA Young Crew Portugal event for young project managers and moderated two workshops. I had numerous opportunities to talk about coaching, my research, and my vision. In the midst of all these workshops, coffee break conversations, dinners, and sightseeing walks, I got a insight. I saw: wow, I actually DO stand for coaching as empowering way of relating to people. I DO stand for creating a possibity for any human being to step into transformation and growth.

I could feel the lights go on in my soul. I stand for something! I do not need to waste my energy and time on being in doubt. I can finally use what I have been given for a good cause. I stand for something.

What do you stand for?