HOW TO HOLD YOURSELF THROUGH TOUGH TIMES
Every once in a while, you hit a rough, raw, and oh-so-real patch of the road:the one that is testing your resolve, pushing your limits, and evoking every ounce of Soul strength and spiritual resilience you have.
These patches might show up as dramatic turns and sudden changes of scenery, as experiences of great turmoil and total drama….and they might also come in the guise of a boring landscape that makes you feel like you are not moving at all, or a dead end threatening to negate your entire journey, or a split in the road when you are forced to make a definite decision.
Whatever the form, the substance is the same: this is a moment of transformation. You are literally transcending the form you used to hold. The energies within and around you are set in motion. The very particles of your being are changing position on the subatomic level, birthing a new reality and bringing forth your brand new self.
This process of re-alignment, re-arrangement, re-adjustment is affecting everything known as “you”. Your physical body changes its shape (even ever so subtly) to reflect your altered inner state. Your mental body is shaken up, so you can release old narratives and accommodate new ones. Your emotional body is taxed with a significant amount of emotional states, layers, and sensations to navigate, process, move in and out of the system, sort and make sense of. Your spiritual body works with intensity and dedication as a bridge between your Soul world and your human reality, facilitating the dialogue between your essence and your personality, channeling revelations and helping you install new spiritual paradigms into your mundane existence. All of these bodies are co-operating and co-creating the next chapter of your life.
As you can imagine, the very scope of these transformational tasks – which never end as long as we are in existence, and become especially demanding in times of great transition – requires a significant energetical investment from each and every one of your bodies. Even when seemingly “nothing” is going on at the surface level – no big changes, no dramas, no life-altering decisions of pain points – HUGE things might be unfolding for you under the surface, on the subtle energy levels, in the domain of your Soul, and on “the inner plane”.
You might be having a “normal” human weekend, but feeling surprisingly edgy or unexplainably tired. Perhaps, during that very weekend your Soul and Spirit Guides team were preparing you for a massive life-altering shift, or helping you integrate a clearing you recently went through.
So, transformation can be subtle, even invisible – and yet no less energy-demanding, intense, and impactful. It is crucial to properly and carefully hold yourself through such times. S
o, what does holding yourself even mean?
Holding yourself is the lost art of having your own back, being close to yourself, and centering in your Heart to support and carry yourself THROUGH – and not away from! – times of trial, test, transformation and transition.
This is the ultimate life skill we completely lost during the rule of patriarchy, alongside with “rites of passage”, initiations, and rituals – all the sacred processes that allowed our wise ancestors make peace with change, embrace the mysteries of life, navigate birth and death, respect the unknown, and face the ups and downs of existence.Such experiences as “the dark night of the Soul”, depression, loss, grief, and so on, are inevitable and inescapable no matter who we are and what culture we come from.
Learning how to BE WITH and IN such circumstances and situations from a foundation of trust, acceptance and responsibility (as opposed to resistance, denial and resignation) is absolutely essential. What’s really important here is to allow yourself, and all of your bodies, to restore energy so that it can be used for feeding your internal processes.
Realize that it is okay to draw within, to put your process first, to spend time with your Soul – even in the midst of an otherwise busy professional and personal life, it is okay to require and create this time and then to do seemingly nothing with it. Nothing has to be done, just being with yourself is okay. Your Soul needs you. Your body needs you. And you need yourself.
The keys here are:
a) self-compassion – you can only go deep and heal when you feels safe to let go, “break down” before breaking through, knowing that someone (you yourself) will be there to pick up the pieces
b) trust – a sense of knowing that everything is unfolding in your highest good, you are never abandoned by your Soul, even if it seems to be the case, in time, it will all make sense, and you will emerge on the other side
c) patience – letting the process go its natural course, and releasing any sense of control or pushing, dropping any attachment to when, how, where the breakthrough will take place
Cultivating these qualities will expand you and help you embrace your transition. Working on compassion, trust, and patience is your inner work, and it is nothing but easy. Luckily, there are also things you can work on “on the outside”, in the physical realm, things that are more tangible and can thus support you with grounding into your transforming state.
Here are some suggestions:
Physical movement – it is important to move your body daily, so that your cells and tissue have a chance to release toxins, shake off stress, and come in motion to support the process of subtle re-alignment. Shaking is especially helpful, as well as stretching.
Sleep – you might require more hours of sleep than usual, because it provides much needed space to unplug and process. Allow yourself to have all the sleep you need, and if you can, sleep without setting an alarm clock on some days.
Cocooning – as mentioned earlier, feeling safe is essential for going through the toughest patches of transition. Physical safety and warmth can reinforce emotional safety, and you can create it through “cocooning” at home with fuzzy blankets, soft pillows, and such. It might be surprisingly nourishing to spend some days in bed, all cozy and snuggly, in your own little fortress where you are held and protected.
Space clearing – as you are changing internally, the external space needs to adjust. It is crucial to have your outer place of dwelling – your home and workplace – to be as energetically pure as possible. You can cleanse it with sage, palo santo, and candles. Decluttering and letting go of things helps as well.
Nutrition – your body needs support to process transformation, so consider taking vitamins and focusing on healthy food. Magnesium, vitamins C and D are especially helpful.
Support – getting professional help is invaluable, because transition and healing require pure space. Professional services like coaching, energy work, mentoring, counseling etc. provide a safe, dedicated container in which you can let go, and focus on your process. When you are holding yourself through a transition, it is so important to have someone hold you too.
And remember: the more you try to speed up the healing process, the more you resist the very fact of you being in a vulnerable transition, the longer it will take. Any trace of blaming yourself for being “slow” and for being in such a condition is counterproductive and only stalls your natural journey of transformation and becoming whole.
The journey towards wholeness requires space and time.
It requires keeping the bigger picture in mind – the picture of the Soul navigating a transition and reaping its precious learning by going through a variety of intense states. It requires trust, trust, trust, and even more trust. And whatever level of trust you have now, it is enough to start. Hold onto it, and hold onto yourself – you are internally wise and infinitely strong.
You can and you will carry yourself through everything.
PS You do not have to go it alone! I am available for 1:1 sessions and longterm transformational processes, if you feel like you could use some extra support, energy healing, guidance, and space-holding. Explore how you can work with me here>>
Photo by Kira Ikonnikova on Unsplash