WHY GOING AFTER WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT THE ONLY WAY TO MANIFEST
“What do you really want?”
The one question that we are going to see a lot of these days, with all the 2021 visioning and planning.
The one question that is guaranteed to send my head spinning…and maybe yours too?
If you ask me “what do you want?”, I am unable to tell you. I freeze. It’s like my brain cannot compute the question. If you give me options — sea or mountains? pizza or pasta? — I can pick one easily. But I cannot, for life of me, produce a self-sourced desire or set a specific clearly defined goal…no matter how insistently you ask, how long and deep the guided meditation journey is.
No, I am not stubborn or stuck. I function differently, and as I know from having worked with hundreds of people, so do many others. Except that traditional personal development industry is making us wrong for it — and I am here to challenge that and offer a different perspective.
I think of it this way: some are here to be wells filled with desires and goals, and some are here to be empty vessels that are meant to be filled by life itself. The well types are indeed here to unearth their intrinsic desires and experience the joy of manifesting specific things, the thrill of going after their dreams, the satisfaction of accomplishing something that they set their minds to. They thrive on chasing specific, clear, “smart” commitments. A totally legit way of being in the world — but it is not the only one.
The vessel types are not here to “go after” anything. Their role is not to fill themselves up with desires and dreams and goals, but rather the opposite — to become completely empty, receptive and open, so that life can fill them up with whatever is right for them at any given moment. Instead of “going after”, the experience is more like “being moved towards” or even “pulling in”. For a vessel, setting specific goals and deadlines makes absolutely no sense because it does not touch anything deep within them and does not activate the life force necessary to engage in pursuing a goal.
I am sharing this distinction to encourage you to open up to alternative paradigms of manifestation. “You need to know exactly what you want and commit to it fully and just go for it” is NOT the only way, even though it seems like the dominant one.
It never worked for me, and instead of questioning myself, I finally dare to question the approach. The more I tried to be specific and committed and consistent, the more inadequate I felt — while the method was not working for me, I was getting told that I am not committed enough, sabotaging, and what not — complete and utter lies that came from people and personal development systems that were unable to recognize and respect a way of being that was different from their own.
It took me forever to come to terms with the fact that I am not here to chase goals but to stay open to whatever life is bringing my way, and then notice if I am moved to respond and engage with things that come to me (as opposed to seeking things out in the external world). I do not have a strong or specific urge in my heart to propel me towards an external goalpost, but I receive subtle hints and whispers — they speak to me in premonitions, feelings, sensations, images that never add up to a coherent vision board that can be broken down to yearly goals and quarterly plans. I have not the slightest clue as to where I see myself 5 years from now…or even a year from now! Because I truly do not care about such specifics. It is inconsequential to me, it does not inspire or move me.
What does inspire and move me is clarity on the inner states that I would like to have in my life — spaciousness, inspiration, contribution, peace…Staying in the frequency of these feelings makes me a natural magnet to all things good. “This, or something better” is my motto, and trust is my only manifestation technique.
It was the Human Design system that has given me the language to explain it:
1) I am “quad right” meaning a non-linear, creative out-of-the-box thinker who is meant to be non-specific and inconsistent;
2) My will center is undefined hence the lack of “go for it” attitude;
3) I am a Manifesting Generator with sacral inner authority meaning I am here to respond to life, and my inner knowing shows up as a yes/no response plus an energetical activation in my gut when I have life energy available to engage with something that is aligned for me.
To state the obvious: there is no “right” way of setting goals and dreaming up your life. If some of the well known highly acclaimed “proven” manifestation methodologies and strategies do not work for you, YOU are not wrong, and the methods aren’t wrong either — they just are not the right methods for you!
I can attest that it is NOT true that the Universe only responds to your desires when you describe exactly what you want, how and when. The Universe is not your Amazon prime, and God is not your postman. The Universe is smart enough to give you what you need, even if you cannot describe it. This, to me, is the mystery and miracle of a life lived from surrender and grace — a life I personally choose to live.
With regards to 2021 visioning, here are some alternatives to the “what do you want” narrative:
What wants to be born through you?
What lights you up right now? What gets your fire going?
What are you curious about exploring next?
What would you like to experience more of? Less of?
In what ways does your life energy want to move now?
What are you drawn to?
What invitations has life issued that you feel like accepting?
What does your body know about what is next?
What is your Soul calling you towards?
Please know: you are worthy of happiness, even if you cannot define it.
May you get what you truly need, even if you cannot name it.
Photo by Leonard von Bibra on Unsplash